Relationship coach Alex Allman says there is a number one rule of intimate relationships! Care to guess what it is?
Most people guess things like:
- Being best friends
- Shared values or faith
- Listening to your partner
All these things are great. And necessary. But it’s not what Alex calls ‘the number rule of intimate relationships.’
So what is?
His answer: Be lovers first and foremost...Here’s Why!
This challenges many of the marriage and relationship concepts being taught today. Most say you should be friends first. According to Alex, this is wrong.
In the video below he explains what he means by being lovers and first and why it’s important.
After you watch this 3 minute video, scroll down to read how Marni Kinrys
Alex says, “It’s not about communication, respect, “boundaries,” or listening– no it’s more fundamental than any of these things, and couples just screw this up almost every time… “
Did you read that closely? Most couples just screw this up almost every time!
This flies in the face of what most think. But it’s one of the keys to understanding the mind of a man.
What’s the Key to Making Your Relationship a ‘Love First’ Priority?
Alex tells the story that pretty much sums it up. Here’s the link to the story if you want to read it.
First, you need to know that Alex works with clients all over the country. He is a relationship expert who deals mainly with sexual communication betweem couples.
Here’s the story…
One of his clients had a history of a ‘playful past.’ (if you know what I mean). During college she dating quite a few guys and enjoyed the physical connection with them.
She eventually settled down and married because she wanted to start a family.
By the time Alex met her, she was already in the final stages of divorce and soon started dating another guy.
Her marriage had been one with very little passion. Her husband was a good man. Great dad and a good husband. Handsome and athletic. There was just no spark in the their relationship.
She told Alex she felt bad that she never really wanted to make love to her husband, and certainly didn’t enjoy exploring their physical relationship.
In fact, her husband considered her to be quite closed sexually.
Ironically, when she started dating following their divorce, her ‘romantic life’ took off again. Just like the days in college.
What Made the Difference?
Alex believes it was actually that her ex-husband didn’t know how to unlock the passion in her. This is not said to blame him. Most couples don’t know how to unlock their partners passion-side.
Alex explains it this way:
(I)t was an “inner parts conflict.”
She had introduced him to a part of herself that was yearning for family and children, and she didn’t know how to have that side of herself coexist with the raging sex kitten part of herself that also lived inside of her.
Both parts were authentic sides of her identity, but… When he was around, she just couldn’t bring that sexual side of herself out.
And unfortunately for him, he didn’t know how to speak the right language to release that part of his (ex) wife’s identity.
He closes his story with ‘It didn’t have to be that way.’
I find that’s true in most relationships.
When passion seems dead, it doesn’t have to be.
Let’s face it. We all want a marriage (relationship) that is full of passion. Who doesn’t want to feel that surge of life and vitality that comes with a passion filled romance.
While many believe it is inevitable that it dies out, it’s not true.
Passion can last a lifetime.
IF…(and this is a big ‘if’)…
If you know how to communicate to the passion side of your partners personality.
Alex’s new program can help you activate the passion you desire.
What’s super cool is Alex is letting you name your price on this new program.
Because of the economic situation we are currently facing because of the corona-virus, he is literally letting clients name their own price.
You can check out the program here.
I’d love to get your feedback. Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.
Image Source: Canva Pro License. Photo by Foremniakowski Getting Images.